i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
