Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
