it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
