That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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