He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just gift wrapped bread.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize