I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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