pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize