youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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