So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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