my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
