After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize