So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
