Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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