my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
