I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it glows. i had to have it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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