I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
