It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
