i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
