Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
