Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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