I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
