Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
