did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
