my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
