I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize