Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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