i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
And then he peed in my hair
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