I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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