i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
