Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He did a backflip because drugs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
