woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
