so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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