you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
