those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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