So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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