You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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