can we get nightvision for the apartment?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
