Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
