that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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