...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
