I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
