that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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