He disabled his match.com account in front of me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
