If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
