I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
