I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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