Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
