Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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