walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
