It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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