exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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