it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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