not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am midnight drunk by noon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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