so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
