I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
