I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
