he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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