he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
