Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
