My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
