the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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