Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
