And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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