Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was CRYING into my vagina
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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