so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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